Anyone that has been reading my blog for a while might remember this post.
If you don’t I would suggest that you read it if you have the time.
I would like to report that there have been 2,596 bedtimes since I became a parent and NOTHING HAS BLOODY CHANGED.
Actually, that is a lie. It has changed, it has got worse.
Bedtime now consists of a great routine and then the children go to their rooms. They then listen to audiobooks and play and when they have had enough they come back down. The reasons include, being scared of their room, being scared of being alone, not wanting to be apart from us, they are hungry, they just cannot get to sleep, they have a mark on them, they need a medicine of some kind, they are itchy, they want a plaster, they don’t like the water I have given them, they want juice, they are too hot / too cold / don’t like what they are wearing, they want me to fix a toy, they want me to help them find something, they want to get something from downstairs.
Honestly I could go on all day.
Just like they do, when they might finally go to sleep around 9.30pm. Or not, and insist on staying up until we go to bed, which then means one of us at least is sleeping in a bed that is not our own.
Last week there was a point where the kids were asleep in our double bed and we slept separately in their rooms. Once they are asleep the thought of possibly waking them by moving them is just too much.
I am at my wit’s end, and I have the most patience in this house by far. I am worn thin by days and days in their company from the moment that I wake until the moment that I go to sleep. Summer holidays are really hard work for me and then add a lack of space to the evenings and I am slowly falling apart.
We have tried all of the things over the past seven years and every time we make progress something happens to fuck it up. We were making real progress with Piran and he was staying in his room and putting himself to bed when tired for weeks and weeks and then suddenly he is afraid of his room again and we are back to square one. I would happily spend 15 minutes in his room to help him drop off to sleep but that takes him over an hour. It is the way he has always been.
The addition of a child’s meditation / relaxation CD got us ONE WONDERFUL BEDTIME last week but it was a fluke.
I want to remove everything from their bedrooms and just make them stay in there so they are bored and just go to sleep. Except we cannot sell this house and move to the bigger one we had fallen in love with so we are just back to all being cramped in here. I could sell all their toys but that might be a step too far.
One day this will all just seem like a dream to us, when they are grown but right now we are living in a Nightmare.
I know I promised nice catch up posts this week but sometimes you have just got to let it all out.