We are in that strange situation where time is all mixed up at the moment. Some nights feel like they last a lifetime. Some weeks disappear in seconds. During a screaming fit I would swear that a minute was more like an hour. Mr C’s month off is almost over and Kate is almost four weeks old. It has gone by so fast, but it also feels like she has always been here.
My parents have gone and as I tried to reclaim my house from the chaos and put everything back in some sort of order ? things happened. A shelf in a bookcase in the corner collapsed scuppering my plans for Friday afternoon as we had to fix it and reorganise. We found out Piran has chicken pox scuppering my plans for, well, the foreseeable future.
So, just as I was mentally preparing myself for the moment that I was in charge of two children on my own it turns out that as of tomorrow I am going to be in charge of two children on my own all day WITHOUT GOING OUT. Chuck in a little sleep deprivation, colic / crying stints that at the moment last two hours between almost every feed, a toddler who might have an infectious condition but actually is fine in himself so is bored and hyperactive, and the worst weather we have had in weeks and there is no chance for me.
Twitter is my only outlet at the moment and quite frankly I don’t have anything interesting to say. To keep myself cheerful I am dressing Kate up in all the pretty outfits we have been given, just so she looks even more beautiful as she screams her head off for half the day.
This blog post was more interesting and made more sense in my head. Mind you, it is always a risk trying to write coherently at 2am.
Friday afternoon was horrific. My parents were due to leave at dinner time and Piran was at nursery and was going to stay with his Nanny and Grandad to give Mr C and I the chance to get a bit more organised. Then we got a phone call to say that Piran had suspected chicken pox, and suddenly it was bedlam with doctors appointments and picking him up. Why am I the only person that thinks of the practicalities, like not only taking Piran to the doctors but making sure he eats. I had the inlaws phoning and turning up to tell me how serious it is if a baby catches chicken pox. At that point I actually thought I would explode from stress. How completely unhelpful, as if I wasn’t worried enough.
Then the trip to the doctor, who was running late. Amusing a tired, hungry toddler for an hour in a waiting room was interesting, and then he pulled ‘that’ face. You know the one. The I’ve been working on doing this poo all day face. Oh my the smell. And guess who, in the rush to leave had forgotten the nappy bag. I was mortified, and had to apologise to the doctor, who was tired and we were his last patients, for the awful stink.
Anyway, it was chicken pox which means we have to try and keep Piran away from Kate as much as possible and just hope she doesn’t get it. Amid all this my parents left, which makes me so sad at the best of times. I was in floods of tears, it was so hard to say goodbye.
7pm Friday night was a very, very low point for me.
Onwards and upwards though. I have lost my shit so much this weekend it is untrue. I have had those horrible moments where I am convinced that Kate will only stop crying for her Dad, that she hates me and is crying at me (my rational brain says this is utter rubbish but it doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time) and there has been a lot of tears. I try not to cry in front of Piran, because he looks so worried and throws himself at me in his haste to hug me better, but it can be so very hard.
It is just the fact that I was just starting to get out and about with a newborn and now I am housebound again.
Can anyone tell me what we can and can’t do with poxy boy? If he seems well can we go out as long as there are no other people that he comes in contact with? If he is wrapped up and in the buggy at all times is that okay? Because frankly after a month of being stuck at home I need fresh air and something other than these four walls and garden to look at.
|First ever dress!|