Letters to my children

3 months

August 8, 2011

Dear Kate,

I started a tradition of writing letters to your brother every three months and I am so happy to be writing this one to you now. It is a little later than I would have liked but the time I set aside was taken up with you not sleeping and then suddenly it is four days later. Time is a very funny thing when you have a newborn in the house.

Your arrival in this world was a wonderful experience for me, and your Daddy and I were just amazed by you immediately. I remember lying in the hospital and looking at you sleeping and thinking that I was the happiest person in the world. I had no idea right then how much you would turn our lives upside down!

You are so beautiful. You have an amazing crazy hairdo and although you have lost hair, you have kept quite a lot and it is a big fluffy mess that tickles my nose when I hold you. I love it. Everyone says that you look like me and I can see certain features that are all too familiar. My top lip and my ears in particular. Sorry about that.

If I was asked to describe the last three months in one word I am afraid that it would be ‘noisy’. You have cried a lot since you were born. We are not sure if you had colic or if you are just a sensitive soul but you certainly make a lot of noise. The longest you cried for was 9 hours one Saturday. You still cry a lot. We try everything to make you happy, but some days we just have to let you wail.

You do have a lovely smile when you decide to show it. Your brother used to smile at everyone but you are much more selective. It makes the smiles even more wonderful though. You love to sit on my lap and face me and chat. We say “Hi” to each other and poke out our tongues. You love to be bounced on my knee. You want to sit up and see what is going on all of the time. Your eyes take everything in. You like to sleep in your swing in the daytime. You are always happy if you are moving. You dribble bubbles.

First smile!

You moved into your own room when you turned three months. I miss you but you are much happier and sleep better away from other people. Your brother being in our room was disturbing you and most of the time at the moment you will sleep from 6pm – 7am. You love the bath and it will always stop you crying. You have a strong grip and love to play with a muslin.
Your brother loves you very much and you are fascinated by him. If he is in the room you watch him intently. He tells me to give you milk when you are upset. He comes home and calls your name “BUBBY”. You are the first thing he asks for in the morning. Even before his milk. That makes you very special. He gives you hugs and kisses, and likes to pass you toys. I don’t know how long it will last but it makes me very happy to see how much you like each other.

I am not finding life as easy as I could. I have been quieter and sadder than usual and I am sorry for that. I try to remember to smile at you as much as I can. I know that you don’t know what is going on but I worry that you pick up on when I am sad and I don’t like that. Things will get better, I promise.

I do love you though. Your cheeky grin that was a bit like a pirate’s with a wink when you were learning. The “hur, hur, hur” sound of your laugh. You have beautiful clothes (loads more than me) and you always look so pretty. You like to chew your sleeves and your hands. The first beautiful smile you give me every morning makes it all worthwhile.

Love Mum x

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