So, this weekend our gorgeous baby is 9 months old. I know it is a cliché but the time has just flown by.
The magic nine months have gone and I realised this week that not only has my own deadline for shifting the ‘baby weight’ (why do they call it that? The 10lb baby is gone – the rest is too many cans of coke and cakes when pregnant weight!) has gone past but I have actually put on weight in the past two months instead of losing it. Dammit. I know why. I eat far too much crap. It is sad, and what is even sadder is that I had fallen into the trap of hiding what I was eating – buying things when out and about, eating cakes and biscuits during the day and not admitting it. Not that my husband would give me a hard time, but I was ashamed of what I was doing. Time to make a change, the first step is admitting it eh?
So, right now I am 170lbs. At the top end of a size 16.
Today I started with Slimming World. I won’t be able to make it to a meeting, because it is on a night I will not be able to go, so I have joined Body Optimising online and over the next three months I am really going to try and shift the excess weight.
I didn’t think I wanted to blog about it, but there needs to be no place to hide.
I am afraid. I am afraid of failing. In my life I have never even tried to lose weight, it has been a gradual increase from a size 10 to a size 16 over the last six years. I lost weight one summer, when I was working on my feet, outside and behind a bar, 60 hour weeks. You couldn’t avoid losing weight under those circumstances. I stopped and the weight came back – no wonder sat in an office for 40 hours a week.
I don’t like exercise. I am not one of ‘those’ people. I don’t mind walking, and I do try and get Piran out in the fresh air every day so I will try and extend these walks a bit. I am going to dust off my bicycle, and try and head out once Piran is in bed.
Perhaps I will blog about how I get on. Perhaps I won’t. But at least I have come clean, and can try and make a change.