Oh my god….
…picture the scene…I got in from a hard days work (ahem) and was happily settling down on the sofa to watch some tv and read blogs and generally chill and get my head back together a bit when my phone rings. It’s my step dad’s mobile (which in itself is a bit weird as he has no reception when he is at home)…
…it’s my mother…
Okay so I am not looking forward to talking to her as I haven’t had the inevitable I’ve broken up with my boyfriend conversation yet and I know that one is going to be great fun!
For the purpose of this conversation all thoughts will be in italics.
Mother: Hello poppet (yeah that old chesnut called me it for the last 27 years and it’s stuck!) are you looking forward to seeing us tomorrow.
Mother: Yes tomorrow. It’s Thursday tomorrow.
Me: I know what day it is. You’re coming tomorrow?
Mother: My daughter has finally lost it. Yes we are away now, coming to stay with you tomorrow.
Me: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. My calendar says next week. You told me it was next week.
Mother: Mental sigh and shake of head. No it’s Ava’s birthday on Sunday.
Me: Agggghhhhh help. Oh well that’s ok. My calendar says next week.
Mother: If it’s a problem….
Me: Here we go. Of course not. You might have to stay in my room though.
Mother: That’s ok. Will Jon be able to still make it?
Me: Oh FUCK. No
Mother: SILENCE. Um…
Me: Here we go again. We broke up.
And so on. You get the general idea. All the stuff about the bloody tent and when did we break up and are we still friends.
Then she signed off in true dippy mother style by saying that she just realised that her skirt was on inside out and she had to go and sort it out before she went out for dinner. And reminded me why I love her so much.
So my chilled out night has turned into manic running around cancelling plans (well one dinner plan for tomorrow) working out what to feed them and sorting out the flat so that I am ready for them tomorrow. My brain is spinning and I am all of a dither and Lost is on in 30 mins and I have to try and learn how to tape of NTL so that my mum can watch it at a later date.
Blah de blah, wibble wibble.
I am so not in the right place mentally to deal with my mum and step dad. I had a week to get my head all sorted out so that I could act all fine and not bothered and just relax and all that.
Oh well never mind. Life is never dull!