Any normal person…

October 18, 2005

…would swear and shout and hop up and down and maybe shed just one tear followed by much more swearing. Then all would be well again.

Me? I got up, smashed my foot against the sofa, hopped once, said “Fuck” followed shortly by “sorry language”! And hobbled out the door.

Any normal person would have been fine again in a hour.

Me nearly 24 hours later and I am limp, limp, limp. No obvious damage to my middle toe of my right foot but I can’t walk and it hurts like a bastard. I am sat at work, really dying for a cup of tea but too scared to get one because I am hobbling too much with a throbbing toe, lost in my daydreams of it dropping off and me finding it stuck in the end of my sock when I take them off later tonight. Leonie – any tips?

7 Comments

  • Reply Doug October 18, 2005 at 6:50 pm

    Super Glue!

  • Reply kate October 18, 2005 at 6:54 pm

    oh you poor wretched girl. and i thought i was clumsy. lol. i hope your toesie feels better soon.

  • Reply C October 19, 2005 at 9:53 am

    Get someone to make you a tea. Hop around the office and make your pain known, then act the damsel in distress. It never works for me, I just get funny looks!

    Hope it gets better as soon as.

  • Reply Léonie October 19, 2005 at 10:46 am

    Yes! C is correct! (We can call him Chris now, though)

    Sympathy. Is the best healer. Well, alright, maybe not healer so much, but it makes you feel better about your pain. Try to adopt an expression that says “Yes, I am in pain. Very lots of pain. But, no, I shall not complain as I am A Brave Soldier and am strong enough to Struggle in the face of Adversity and this great, great pain.”

    When people ask how your toe is, close your eyes and shake your head sadly, as if in mourning for a toe that, once so full of life, is now but a shell of the great toe it once was.

    When you open your eyes the person who asked the question might have left, but do not let this deter you. If possible, find yourself a wheelchair and wheel yourself past their deak, with a pained look of heavy-heartedness.

    This should achieve the correct effect and provoke sypmathy and make you feel a bit better.

    I suppose in the event of your toe actually falling off completely you can console yourself with the fact that, apparently, humans are going to start to evolve with only four toes soon anyway. So you won’t be deformed, just ahead of your time! Hurray!

    (Also.. can I ask what made you kick the couch in the first place?)

  • Reply Dancinfairy October 19, 2005 at 11:01 am

    Crisis adverted. It has gone a shiny red colour but as not dropped off. Phew!

    Doug: Great plan, glad I didn’t need it.

    Kate: I get my accident prone-ness from my Dad. I did phone him up to complain about my injury as it is partly his fault!

    Chris: It didn’t work. Had to drink water all day. Evil colleages.

    Leonie: They say laughter is the best medicine and yet again you have me in stitches (the laughing so much kind, not the sew the toe back on kind!)

    In response to why I kicked the sofa – I was rushing to dish up dinner in the advert break of the last episode of Season 2 of the OC. Some things are worth tghe pain!

  • Reply Doug October 19, 2005 at 2:44 pm

    I have only seen 1 episode of the 3rd season so far. The rest are taped for later to tease you with.

  • Reply Dancinfairy October 19, 2005 at 3:05 pm

    Oh my god. One episode is enough. You know what happened!

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