Calling all Lepidopterists

December 6, 2005

Need some butterflies to study in the middle of winter. I have loads. In my tummy.

I am so very nervous. I have to go to a Sales Metting this afternoon and do a presentation on my project and tell them what they have to do now. I am so very scared. I was really impressed – I managed to keep it completely under control all last night, slept well (very strange dreams though) and I was even okay getting ready for work. Someone who knew me and looked closely would have noticed the first sign of nerves when I put make up on this morning. I never wear make up to work.

The minute I got into work and sat down I immediately thought that I was going to be very sick. I have checked my handouts, checked my timings, checked my handouts, checked my timings, over and over for the last hour and I think it is actually making me feel worse. I want to eat something but don’t think I can.

God, this is so silly. I am a grown woman of 27 and the thought of talking to a group of 10 people has me freaking out.

Deep breaths and no caffine for me.

Let you know how it goes tomorrow.


  • Reply Adz December 6, 2005 at 11:40 am

    I’d be shitting myself just as much as you!

    Think about the time when you told Darren, Emma and me about the Eden project at work for your NVQ. That was fine, I am sure you were nervous, but just imagine it is a load of your friends and have a laugh if you can!

  • Reply Dancinfairy December 6, 2005 at 12:05 pm

    I have been thinking about that. Unfortunately that was 4 years ago and was the last time I did something like this!

  • Reply Léonie December 6, 2005 at 1:05 pm

    2 bits of advice that may or may not apply (if not.. please ignore!)

    1. When I was little my mum used to sit me down at moments of low confidence (which was a lot) and make me repeat ‘I can and I will’ over and over. Which sounds cheesy but works.

    2. This is a little… strange.. but when I was in A-level French class there was this girl called Harriet who was really effortlessly confident and poised, could talk to anyone and was always composed regardless of how many people she was addressing. When I have some really intimidating meeting or something I sometimes pretend that I AM Harriet, and imitate her composure and eye contact and everything, imagine how she would do it and just pretend. Which sounds really odd, but it distracts you and stops you focussing on your own perceived inadequacies and brings out the calm confidence in yourself. Maybe you know someone who you can copy?!

    Breathe and tell yourself you can do it…

    Sorry if this comment was patronising it wasn’t meant to be!!!

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