You know when there is stuff going on in your head and your life and you just decide to ignore it in the hope that it will go away? But it doesn’t it just gets sits in the corner getting bigger and bigger until you realise that the only thing that you are doing by ignoring it is making it affect you more and making it worse and worse.
Well the health problems that I have been having recently have been getting me down a lot. For at least a week every month I am unable to walk very far at all and getting round can be painful. That added to the problems I have been having with my back have stopped me exercising all together.
Yesterday I weighed myself and I was shocked to see how heavy I have become. When I moved back to Brighton two years ago I was 2 and a half stone lighter than I am now. I knew that I was bigger because of my clothes. Now I do not think that I look bad but I have realised that in ignorning the fact I am just getting bigger and bigger. Everytime I get ready to go out I feel big and uncomfortable in my clothes. If I could afford a whole set of new clothes then I probably would just let it go. But this will only get worse if I let it. I see pictures of myself that make me feel awful. We were looking at my picture albums and I feel like I have changed so much and not for the better.
When I was younger I was too thin and I didn’t like it. But now I have hit a weight that is unhealthy for me.
I have been using my health problems as an excuse. As of this week this will change. Today I saw the dermatologist about my Hidradentitis and he is prescribing a 3 month course of antibiotics and I will go onto a particular acne drug which is also a contraceptive pill. This may help me with the scary monthly hormones too which is always a bonus!
Tomorrow I have a chiropractors appointment to get my back sorted out. As soon as I am no longer in pain I am going to exercise. There will be no more bad eating habits. Three meals a day and all I will snack on is fruit.
Dippy Mum is doing a sponsored slim. She told me last night what her weight is and what her target weight is. I am a stone and a half heavier than she is. That was a complete wake up call. She is trying to lose 5 pounds. I just want to lose some. Ideally 2 and a half stone (wow, that sounds like so much.)
So, I am going to start on Wednesday swimming because that is all I can manage with my back the way that it is. Then I am going to work out a new exercise plan. We have a gym at work. I have the opportunity I just need to get my act together. Things are going to change.