I wrote a tweet at around 10.30 last night. It simply said:
So. Colic. #fuckme
For the past 24 hours I had been getting irate with anyone that suggested that Kate’s crying was colic. I felt that it was too soon to ‘label’ it. I remember Piran crying in the evenings but I have been back and read my blog posts from around that time and it seems to have been around one hour every night and he was asleep by 9.30 on most occasions.
Last night Kate cried from around 6.30 to 10.30. You are able to calm her and stop the crying occasionally but each thing we try only lasts for five or ten minutes and then she starts again. It is full on screaming. She goes bright red and makes the most heartbreaking noises. I have never experienced anything like it.
Last night I refused to give her to anyone else and just tried to calm her, soothe her, or just hold her, to let her know that I am there for her.
By the time she fell into an exhausted sleep at 10.30 I was ready to admit that it is looking more and more likely that she has colic. Each night it has gotten progressively worse. The latest she has cried until is 11.30 but I think it depends on when she starts. It usually lasts between 3-4 hours. We get into this cycle of thinking she is hungry, trying to feed her, her refusing the milk, trying to wind her, trying to do just something to make her feel better. I find it so very frustrating that I cannot seem to help her, it breaks my heart.
Last night the screaming woke Piran as well, he was so upset. In the end I slept downstairs with Kate and Piran slept with Mr C in our bed. I can’t think what will happen if this doesn’t improve and goes on for months.
But once you get her settled and to sleep around 11 the rest of the night has been really straight forward, last night she woke at 12.30 and 3.30 for feeds, drank her milk and was back asleep with minimal crying within 30-45 minutes.
The support that I have got from the lovely people on Twitter has been as amazing as always. The best piece of advice has been from my lovely friend @mummylimited
remember you’re NOT failing. It’s not your job to stop the crying but to be there while she is crying (you or someone else)
I am trying to remember this. I am also starting to do some things that help me feel like I am in control. This starts with lists. It started last week with lists of times that she fed and how much she had. The past two days I have started making notes about when she cries, for how long, and anything else I notice. It makes me feel calmer, and I know that when I try and talk to the Health Visitor about it next week I will have facts, not vague recollections. It makes me feel that I am helping, doing something constructive.
Maybe it is colic, maybe it isn’t. I am planning to see what the next two nights are like and then I may take her to the doctor on Monday just to discuss it. I was planning on taking her to the Osteopath in a couple of weeks anyway, so I may try to do that sooner. We are already giving her Infacol before each feed.
All help and advice is gratefully received. Did you have a colicky baby? What did you do? What worked, what didn’t work? Will I damage my hearing forever if she screams next to my ear every night? Are we over reacting? Are we missing something? Is it pointless to worry as this evening is judgment day and we are all doomed (thankfully before the crying starts)?
At the end of it all though, she sleeps and looks like this. All is forgotten.
*Please note I will not drink when in charge of a screaming baby. I will wait until she has gone to sleep.