Dear SantaDecember 7, 2005
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn’t my fault what happened at Claire’s Christmas party. It was Tez who spiked the punch with too much Mulled Cider. I can’t help it if I drank 1001 glasses. It was so good—smelled and tasted just like Bacon cooking.
I thought it was funny when I put Scott’s Jeans on my head and danced the Macarana on the Sofa while singing `Mr Jones’. I didn’t mean to break Claire’s Toaster and don’t know why Claire would sue me for Stealing.
I don’t remember calling Steve’s wife a Huge Duck—even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Turquoise lipstick!
And when I threw up on Penny’s husband’s Knee, it was only because I ate too much of those Mince Pies.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Car through my neighbor’s Bedroom. I don’t think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Smelly Dog and have me arrested for Breaking and Entering!
So, Santa…here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Useless and Silly. And I’m really not to blame for any of this Hard stuff. Please bring me what I want the most—bail money!
Sincerely and Happily yours,
Kelly (Really a nice Girl!)
P.S. It’s only 1 buck!