Duck! *AKA The Lost Post*

March 1, 2006

Found the post – I had put it on my photo blog. See what a state I was in! Geez!

WARNING: Premenstrual woman about to BLOW.

You have been warned. I am so stressed out. So far beyond stressed out that I can barely articulate the fact. If I am honest the most I am expecting from this post is repeatative words that make me feel better.

Like buggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbugger
bugger buggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbugger
bugger buggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbugger
bugger bugger buggerbugger.

Who am I kidding? That doesn’t nearly come close. (please close your eyes at this point if you are of a delicate nature)

stupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcunts stupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcunts stupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcunts stupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcunts stupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcuntsstupidfuckingcunts
stupidfuckingcunts.

Hmm slightly better.

I. Am. Having. A. Bad. Day.

Just in case you hadn’t noticed.

I am surrounded by bloody idiots that are just completely doing my head in today. I mean I know that it isn’t hard – just breathing loudly pretty much makes me want to gouge your eyes out with a spoon today. The thing is why is pissing me off become such a sport? It’s like they can tell the days that I am so easily pissed off and they just happily jump around trying their bloody hardest to see who is the one that manages to amke me completely flip out. And it is so not nice because all that I want to do right now is scream or hit someone. I am so not a violent person at all and today I just want to smash things. I don’t want to hurt anyone I just want all this pent up feeling to get out of me. I feel fucking awful. I want to scream and shout and jump up and down. I want to crumple up and cry. I want to hide under the duvet and just pretend that the world doesn’t exisit. I hate feeling like this, like I am completely unable to cope with the smallest thing and everything I attempt feels like climbing a mountain. Tonight I am going to Paul’s to cook tea and I wam scared that I will be unable to act like a normal human being and he will raelsie what a complete and utter mistake he has made getting involved with this crazy psychotic woman and run for the hills. Which would be funny I suppose because it is his house. But I like him so very, very much and I am scared shitless that he will not like me anymore. Which is just so bloody ridiculous because he is like the nicest man you could ever meet and he cares for me and looks after me and likes being around me even when I am crazy and crying or silly and loud but I feel so insecure at this moment in time that as much as I usually look forward to seeing him after work I am petrified.

I need a drink. Or a cigarette. Or both. Or at least ten of each.

But I won’t.

1 Comment

  • Reply Tim-tambolini March 4, 2006 at 2:54 am

    Ahhh, it’s so nice to encounter another woman who has these insane feelings. I realize that you are only 27, and despite the fact that I can’t fathom that I am actually 10 years older than you, I do understand what you are going through. It seems like only yesterday that I was irrational and insecure. Let me tell you this…the PMS gets worse as far as bitchiness and irritability goes, but the caring about what the man in your life thinks about it goes away.

    I seem to feel in a perpetual state of PMS (reading books and seeking medical help for this), but remarkably, the days of self-doubt and wondering if I’m ‘enough’ have left me. I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks about how bad my behavior is. I’m great just the way I am…bitch and all!

    I would have chosen ‘cocksucker’ instead of ‘cunt’ when stringing the cuss words. LOL

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