The thing with sleep deprivation is that my brain can hardly hold on to one thought before it is gone, mixed in with another, or completely forgotten within seconds. I’m at that wandering into a room and immediately forgetting why I am there stage. I can often be found stood in the kitchen staring aimlessly into space, no idea what I am doing.
I keep thinking of bits and pieces that I should blog. But now I am here (at stupid o’clock in the morning) I cannot remember any of it!
The past ten days have been the expected roller-coaster of emotions. Highs and lows and ups and downs. Kate is gorgeous, and I keep having these moments where I cannot believe that she is actually here, that I am not pregnant anymore. It’s strange, I don’t think I could completely let myself believe that she was a girl until she was really here and now she is it has taken me a while to get used to the fact. I have a daughter. I am so very happy about that.
The first week with Piran was the hardest, simply because after giving birth every single muscle in my body was agony, and each day would bring a new set of muscles that ached and as much as I wanted to I couldn’t pick him up for a cuddle. So he saw me cuddling and holding Kate all the time and his little face was heartbroken. I am making up for it now though. Yesterday we had a great hour playing in the garden, drawing on the patio with chalks. This morning when he gets up I am going to take him out and go for a walk. I miss my boy!
The first week was a bit of a shock to Mr C and I. We didn’t bring Piran home from the hospital until he was almost a week old so having Kate home the same day she was born was a totally different experience. We hardly knew what to do with a newborn. It was an experience, wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Now we are on more familiar territory but it is amazing just how much you don’t remember from the first time round.
I ‘met’ a local photographer on Twitter and a few weeks ago she was asking for models for a newborn photoshoot so on Thursday she came to the house to take photos of Kate. She seemed really familiar and we happily chatted as we tried to get Kate to sleep so we could take the pictures. It took a while but in the end she fell into a deep sleep and we could try a few positions and take some pictures. Afterward we were talking as she waited to be picked up and I suddenly realised that I did know her, she was in the same swimming group with her son as us when Piran and I started swimming. It was like meeting an old friend, I’m glad my slow baby brain got there in the end! I think the pictures are amazing for one of her first attempts. I love them. Check out her website and blog for more of her photos – Leanne Miller Photography
The other inhabitants of the house are stirring so I must go. Back with more random thoughts sometime soon.