I have lost the majority of this week in a fog of pain. I have been on autopilot for most of it. I have either a tooth or sinus infection (cannot decide which, as both hurt like hell) and finally managed to get some antibiotics from the doctor yesterday. I feel a bit better this morning but will not go counting those proverbial chickens just yet. I have carried on with everything this week, including a tweet-meet with lovely ladies and babies and bumps and toddlers which brightened my Tuesday. But this week has been HARD.
This could not have happened at a worse time really. My much anticipated trip to Cornwall is tomorrow and I had visions of a week spent washing and cleaning and tidying so that for once it would not be a mad rush of hastily packed clothes the night before invariably ending up with me only having one actual outfit to wear when I am there because nothing goes together. The added stress of having to pack everything for Piran for the first time ever and well, I feel so stressed out for NO REASON. Mr C just keeps reminding me that if we forget something we can just go and buy it, or borrow it from my sister who let’s face it has 2 kids so will have practically everything we need.
I know that deep down that actually, what this is all about is the fact that I want to go down and see them and show them that I am coping okay and that I can do this, just as well as my sister and look how well I am doing and how organised I am etc etc tra la la la la. STUPID. Not sure why I feel like that? Perhaps because being a mum was the thing that she did first. Why am I comparing myself to her? I think this probably requires me to have a long hard look at myself and work out what the devil is going on there but for now, luckily I guess, I do not have the time.
I need to be fairly set to go 24 hours from now. So I must do laundry, clean up this place, make plans, make lists, cross things off lists, take the library books back, decide what Piran really needs me to pack, try and work out how to get it all into my little Punto. I have to sort the kitchen and rebottle the poached pears. I have an appointment with a Cranial Osteopath about my sinus problem and I have to go and sign my will.
But now, a small cheeky chappie is making grunting noises for my attention so I must go and lay on the bed and blow raspberries on his neck to make him giggle because I have not been able to all week.