Picture the scene, I’m happily curled up on the sofa, laptop to my side, checking emails, watching The Xtra Factor, heater on, granny blanket across my lap when my subconscious must have started hollering for a cigarette because I realised that I had forgotten to go to the shop on my way home to buy tobacco. One glance at the window through the slats of our blinds tells me that it is cacky weather outside. But now I have thought of it I know that I will not be able to settle this evening. A quick glance at my watch tells me that I only have 10 minutes until the shop closes.
Upstairs to switch slippers for trainers.
Back downstairs to get money and coat.
Grab coat, look for money.
For the first time ever I have taken my handbag upstairs to my bedroom instead of discarding it on the floor somewhere inconvenient for everyone else.
Upstairs to get money.
Back downstairs putting coat on (stupid denim jacket as I have left big cosy winter coat in car)
Realise that keys are in handbag upstairs.
Still struggling with coat.
Find keys, get coat on.
Realise that I still have my Poppy (from Rememberence Day) on my coat.
Remove Poppy from coat, stick myself with the pin.
Get downstairs, ready to go out.
Down the other stairs out the door.
Drop £5 note on floor. Wind whips it away and I have to chase it down the road.
Catch money, realise I am getting soaked.
Get to shop, ask for wrong brand of tobacco. Think fuck it and buy it anyway.
Catch sight of reflection in shop window realise I couldn’t look any worse than I do – dodgy black tracksuit bottoms that have ‘extra’ knees cos they are stretched, pale blue work jumper, old grey zip up hoodie that doesn’t zip up anymore, navy blue trainers and a denim jacket. *Shudder*
Run back home, go up stairs.
Realise that Rizlas and filters are in handbag which is still upstairs.
Go upstairs, get handbag come back downstairs.
Sit on sofa, realise that Rizlas and Filters are actually still in coat pocket in car.
Get keys, go downstairs out to car and get wet again.
Back in, make cigarette – go into kitchen, stand on back step and smoke cigarette.
Back in front room, trip over handbag which I left in stupid place, realise that I have left slippers upstairs in bedroom.
Sit down and *BIG SIGH*
I was going to make Cocoa but I would probably blow up the kitchen.