A colleague has just sent this email around and I had to share it with you!
After coming back to 120 emails after two days off, and a fresh day of irritating forwarded mails (H isn’t here but there are others like her.. No really!!), I’d like to make a few comments:
– Almost all emails are sh*te
– Friendship emails are beyond sh*te and even fall into the ‘psychiatric help’ category.
– If you ever make a wish from one of those emails, you’re a sad berk!
– Anyone who genuinely thinks photoshop doctored pics of a cat smiling are ‘heartwarming’ needs a blanket, and a punch.
– If you get an email from a collegue, then get that same one from another collegue a little while later, go and clip the latter collegue round the ear ‘ole. In fact, clip ’em both.
– Random pictures of people on horses (etc) coupled with pathetic comments like “John likes a ride” are another slappable offence, not just for the sender, but to anyone who slightly sniggers.
– Links to websites that ask you to type your name in, only to be subsequently confronted by some ‘witty’ image with your name ‘skillfully’ added into the picture, are to be avoided at all costs.
– Gradually remember who sends the w*nk sh*t to you and use a fake hotmail account to terrorise them.
– Better still, use a fake hotmail account to offer false hope that people like them, only to shatter that illusion in a harsh manner.
– Become friendly with your local graffiti artist and persuade them to begin a public slander order against the offending collegue.
– Include the offender in fake porn images and send them to everyone the offender has ever sent a mail to.
Any additions to the list are welcome…