A love letter

November 4, 2011

As part of my ‘homework’ for my PND support group I have to write myself a love letter, seal it up, address it and hand it over. At some point in the future, once the group has finished the same love letter will be stamped and posted back to me.

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I have been mulling this over for a couple of days and this is so hard. I keep coming up with things that I could write and then stopping myself in my tracks with my counter argument. I am too inside my own head I guess. I want this to be real, not just a list of platitudes that I somehow think should be included. I am the only person that is going to read this but at the end of the day I want to do it properly. I am going round in circles and driving myself mad.

You are a kind person. But I have unkind thoughts about people all the time.
You make your children laugh. Not enough and I also shout.
You have friends in your life that love you. But that don’t have the time to show me that these days.
You are a wonderful wife to a great man. But I snap and bicker and take things out on him.
You should be proud of all that you have achieved in your life. But there is so much to be ashamed of too.

I need to switch off the voice in my head that tells me that I am no good, that I am useless and pathetic and not a nice person. I need to stick her in a box and throw away the key. I am just not sure how to do it right now.

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