As I signed up for Holidailies 2005 (starts today!) and I might be getting a couple more visitors than usual who have not been here before I have been thinking a lot about this blog.
Those of you that I am lucky enough to call regulars will know that this blog tends to bounce from silly to serious with some inane bits about my day to day life in between. When I started this blog in July (wow, that’s ages ago!) I had no idea what it would look like and how things would actually turn out.
As I creep up on my 200th post I started to think today about what it is and what it means to me. Most days I am happy with the way that it has turned out. Other days I feel that it can lack substance. If I have a few substance-lacking days in a row I tend to stop blogging and take a step back. Less time blogging tends to equal more time thinking and I end up coming back a few days later with a more well though out post.
The more I think about it, the more I realise that this blog is a true representation of who I am. Some days I am very silly. Some days flighty. Some days I am totally introspective and think and think. Those are the days when you get a ‘serious’ post. I blog about things I see that make me laugh and make me happy and I also blog about things that are bothering me, things that make me sad. I tell you when someone does something to hurt me, when someone does something that makes me happy.
I was thinking about my blogging firsts. How weird it felt to leave my first comment on someone else’s post. How it felt to first get comments on my posts. The surprise after almost a month of blogging of logging into my email and actually having a comment sat there in my inbox, all new and shiny and scary. How they started to get more and more as time went on. How I started to get regulars. How it felt when I added a counter to see how many visitors I was getting and the surprise when I realised people were actually reading this stuff. The rush when I finally ‘came out’ and left a comment on Adz’s blog to say that I Dancinfairy was Kel and that I had a blog too. The anticipation of waiting for his first comment. The first person to comment that actually knew me well.
Sometimes I worry that I care too much about the comments I get. The serious posts are the worst. When I wrote the post a while ago about my past and why I am who I am I was too scared to check my email for at least half a day. What if they all thought I was crazy? And you were all so sweet. I will hold up my hands and say that I have begun to rely upon the nice things that you say to me. I don’t think this is a bad thing though. If you have nothing to say you don’t say it. I trust that everything that you say is genuine.
That is one thing that I have never done and never will do. Lie on this blog. I mean, what is the point?
All of this is jumbled up into the last six months. I feel like I have been on a journey and it’s been great. I want to say Thank You to Adam who started his blog when he went to Australia and then carried it on when he got back. If he had just stopped I don’t think I ever would have realised that there are people out there that just write about stuff and things, the every day shit. That is what made me think, wait a minute there dearie, I can do that. Then the ‘Get Your Own Blog’ button started winking at me and this adventure began!
Thanks for coming along for the ride. Something tells me the fun is just beginning.