Think that it is best to get this all out while I can.
Where do I start with Kate?
She is beautiful. But she is such hard work. By this point with Piran we were finding our feet and his rhythm and life was settling down. With Kate I really have no idea what she wants and when. I think that I have an idea and she proves me wrong each time. I swear half the time she does not know what she wants herself.
The one thing that is guaranteed is that she wants to go to bed at 5.30 each night. She starts screaming until she is in her cot with her dummy and her muslin to pull and play with. I remember Piran doing the same.
During the day she is rarely content. I can count the number of times she smiles at me a day on one hand. She cries because she wants to be held, she cries because actually she would rather lie on the floor with no one around. She sleeps in her swing one day and screams when you put her in it the next. One day she will be happy and have a great two hour nap, the next she will refuse to sleep all day. One day she wants to be held to have her milk, the next she will only drink it lying on the floor, or in her chair. She wants to be outside and moving about. I know I should use a sling but I just dont seem to be able to get on with any. I shall try again when I get home, I have three to try but I find that I get so hot when I carry her and the antidepressants I am taking are giving me extreme hot flushes as well. I hate being hot.
If you manage to work out when she is really hungry and not having a screaming fit because she is hot / tired / bored / mad at me she will drink 6 or 7 ounces of milk. But it usually takes a number of attempts to get her to drink it, finding the right position, waiting for her to poo, it can take so long. With Piran he was so happy with his milk it never crossed my mind to wean before six months. This time, as she reaches four months old I am thinking that maybe it is worth a try. But I loved doing baby led weaning with Piran and he is such a good eater now that I wanted to do the same with Kate. So I really do not know what to do. Do I try some baby rice and see or do I hold out until six months. Mind you, Piran hardly ate anything until around ten months, just enjoyed the food and still had milk so it could be another six months of trying to get her to have her milk. I think that might do me in.
We have managed the past few weeks because there are so many pairs of hands here, sisters and friends, Grandparents and brothers. Someone to hold, to amuse, to distract. What will I do when there is only me and Piran is demanding so much attention? I am petrified.
She is gorgeous and happy if you catch her in the right mood. Admittedly, it only seems to last on average ten minutes a day but they are a wonderful ten minutes. She adores her brother and her eyes are always on him. I know that this cannot last forever, and I just have to remember that.