What seems like a lifetime ago (but was only a couple of weeks really) I wrote a post entitled Not normal after all. Turns out that it really should have been called – Coming off my anti depressants wasn’t the right thing for me and I am still suffering from PND.
Oh well, you live and learn I guess. And that is not such a snappy title.
The anxiety got worse and the other symptoms returned too. The crying, the inability to sleep, the DOOM, the anger and frustration. The yelling. The complete lack of patience. The over reacting. The shouting and screaming.
And so, a trip back to the doctors. Back on the tablets, still suffering from PND. And that in itself is okay with me. But I don’t want that to be the defining thing in my life anymore. I don’t want to be passive and let this happen to me.
And I won’t. I admit that there is something wrong and I do something about it. As a good friend pointed out that in itself is not passive. But it is not enough for me and so there are things that I can do. I can ask for more help, which I have and the doctor has referred me for support and counselling.
And, at the same time all of this was happening I had already started a new project. A new blog, called The Happiness Jar. An idea, started months ago but switched from real life into the virtual one after a perfect conversation with a friend over hot drinks in Trafalgar Square.
It is new, and this post here explains the beginning of the idea and where I have got to so far. It is a work in progress but every time I manage to get the email sign up box working or add my RSS feed I get a real high. As a person I thrive on learning new things and accomplishing something that scares me or I think I am unable to do and so just the act of writing and creating this new blog is helping to make me happy.
So, please, have a look and tell me what you think. Or tell me what makes you happy so I can see if the same is true for me. I need to see these things, to forget about the big picture and focus on the small things and then at the end of the day add up all those small things to make one big smile on my face.