The three of us managed to survive the 6 hour drive down in the pissing rain and shitty, shitty conditions. It was bloody hard going and I was completely fucked by the time that I made it home but we made it despite the wind and the rain and the rats.
Ah, yes, Rats. Or should I say Bloody Huge Rat That Ran Over My Foot and made me Scream Like A Big Baby and Dive Headfirst Back Into My Car.
Don’t worry though. I was with G#1 and Security Guard. Oh, wait a minute. They heard the scream but didn’t come running. Great friends they are. Security Guard did confirm that the rat was a big fucker though which made me feel better for anout 1.327 seconds. This was no cute “Basil”. This was a monster. I have named him Rocky.
Anyway. Woke up on Saturday tired but happy to be on the homestead. Immediately went to see my wonderful godmother to get an Indian Head Massage and sort out my shoulders which seemed perpetually locked in a driving position. Hour and a half later I had gossiped and drank tea and had the most amazing massage. I jumped in my car and drove up to see my Dad, planning to stop briefly at Tesco’s to get a mother’s day present and some flowers and food. It was peeing down with rain and suddenly BANG!
Bastard in front of me at the roundabout looked like he was pulling away, hit the breaks sharpish and I just drove into the back of him. Fucking Cunting Arse Bollocks. The guy jumped out of the car and immediately started shouting but the wind went out of him when he took one look at me about to burst into tears and was a bit nicer then. Gave me the bits that had fallen off my car and we went to the garage and swapped details.
So people I am FINE – I wasn’t going fast at all – but I have fully Crunched the front of my little old car. Stupid Cow. It was my fault but the conditions were terrible. Serves me right for saying to Mouldy a couple of weeks ago that I have never had an accident. At least he wasn’t in the car at the time!
So in a complete panic about how I could get three people back to Brighton today with the front of my car all crumpled I drove to my Dad’s, walked in the door and promptly burst into tears “Daddy”!!!! Such a baby! I am sure it was just the shock!
Still if you didn’t realise it I have SUPER DAD. Seriously, the man is a genius. He managed in the space of 4 hours to make me car driveable and road legal. If you glance at it you can’t even tell that I have hit something. It is completely crazy and amazing all rolled into one. So it will get us back to Brighton when we leave in a hour or so. And yes, I will still manage to bring pasty’s with me!!!!!
Hope you all had a good weekend. Mine was ok, but they sure as hell put a big downer on it.
Au Reviour my 4 years no claims. *Sob*