Where did the weekend go? Actually it was a nice weekend and I did a lot but it was also chilled and I feel a tiny bit better.
What I did:
Was hungover on Friday after work pub quiz on Thursday (which we came second which was great as it was HARD).
Ate a lot.
Sat in the sun.
Had a Chinese Takeaway.
Fell asleep at 9.30pm.
Woke up at 6.30am.
Went shopping. Bought 2 tops for work and two pretty dresses.
Got a chai tea latte from Starbucks and a baguette from the Italian Deli. Mmmm.
Went and had a look at a flat.
Walked around Lewes.
Went food shopping.
Went to Paul’s parents for a cup of tea.
Came home, went to sleep.
Decided not to go out but sent Paul off to have fun.
Watched Strictly Dance Fever.
Did two hours of work (yuk!)
Talked to my Mum.
Paul came home.
Read my book.
Went to sleep.
Stayed in bed until 11.30.
Had sultana pancakes with maple syrup in bed (thank you Paul).
Went to Holmbush shopping – Marks & spencer, Tesco and Homebase.
Went to the garden centre.
Came home, cleaned flat, did washing, hung up washing.
Watched Lost (from last Tuesday) and did the ironing.
Missed Doctor Who (damn you Saturday Express TV paper – you lie).
Watched Hannibal on BBC1.
Went to bed.
So did lots but it was really relaxing too.
I am feeling really low at the moment. I can’t help it but I just don’t feel myself. And the problem with this is that I was starting to freak out whenever Paul came near me. Not so he would notice but I was starting to act weird all the same.
So I was lying in bed yesterday and I just blurted it all out. Apologised for being weird, and explained that I need him to back off for a couple of days while I get my head together. I need to be in control that is all so we talked and he agreed to let me be the one to instigate contact for a while. Straight away I felt better and I found myself reaching out for him all the time yesterday and by the afternoon I was laughing and being silly again and I could tell he was feeling better too.
When I went to sleep last night I told him not to forget that he needed to set his alarm for “pancake o’clock” as he promised me more pancakes this morning. He looked and me and laughed and said “That is one of the reasons I love you Ms Kelly-Marie, you come up with things like pancake o’clock” I am so lucky to have him.
I do feel better but not right. Feel panicy all the time. It is so hard to explain but I just want to hide all the time and read and just be alone. I think it is tied in with work but I am not sure. I guess I will just have to try and deal as best I can. Talking with Paul helped.
Oh and a good bit of news today. I made the final 7 again this month in Blogging for Books. Go and read the rest of the entries – they are all great.