Oh my it’s Monday

May 15, 2006

Where did the weekend go? Actually it was a nice weekend and I did a lot but it was also chilled and I feel a tiny bit better.

What I did:
Was hungover on Friday after work pub quiz on Thursday (which we came second which was great as it was HARD).
Ate a lot.
Ate more.
Sat in the sun.
Had a Chinese Takeaway.
Fell asleep at 9.30pm.
Woke up at 6.30am.
Went shopping. Bought 2 tops for work and two pretty dresses.
Got a chai tea latte from Starbucks and a baguette from the Italian Deli. Mmmm.
Went and had a look at a flat.
Walked around Lewes.
Went food shopping.
Went to Paul’s parents for a cup of tea.
Came home, went to sleep.
Decided not to go out but sent Paul off to have fun.
Watched Strictly Dance Fever.
Did two hours of work (yuk!)
Talked to my Mum.
Paul came home.
Read my book.
Went to sleep.
Stayed in bed until 11.30.
Had sultana pancakes with maple syrup in bed (thank you Paul).
Went to Holmbush shopping – Marks & spencer, Tesco and Homebase.
Went to the garden centre.
Came home, cleaned flat, did washing, hung up washing.
Watched Lost (from last Tuesday) and did the ironing.
Ate dinner.
Missed Doctor Who (damn you Saturday Express TV paper – you lie).
Watched Hannibal on BBC1.
Went to bed.

So did lots but it was really relaxing too.

I am feeling really low at the moment. I can’t help it but I just don’t feel myself. And the problem with this is that I was starting to freak out whenever Paul came near me. Not so he would notice but I was starting to act weird all the same.

So I was lying in bed yesterday and I just blurted it all out. Apologised for being weird, and explained that I need him to back off for a couple of days while I get my head together. I need to be in control that is all so we talked and he agreed to let me be the one to instigate contact for a while. Straight away I felt better and I found myself reaching out for him all the time yesterday and by the afternoon I was laughing and being silly again and I could tell he was feeling better too.

When I went to sleep last night I told him not to forget that he needed to set his alarm for “pancake o’clock” as he promised me more pancakes this morning. He looked and me and laughed and said “That is one of the reasons I love you Ms Kelly-Marie, you come up with things like pancake o’clock” I am so lucky to have him.

I do feel better but not right. Feel panicy all the time. It is so hard to explain but I just want to hide all the time and read and just be alone. I think it is tied in with work but I am not sure. I guess I will just have to try and deal as best I can. Talking with Paul helped.

Oh and a good bit of news today. I made the final 7 again this month in Blogging for Books. Go and read the rest of the entries – they are all great.

4 Comments

  • Reply monkey typist May 15, 2006 at 4:18 pm

    youre so domesticated! (in a good way, it sounds really lovely)

    i hope youre feeling ok now, its really good you can talk about it here/to the bf.

    and how come everyone seems to miss dr who??

  • Reply Retro Girl May 16, 2006 at 1:46 am

    Sounds like you had a really nice weekend…I love “Pancake O’Clock”…mine would be “Backrub O’Clock” lol.(Hubby would agree and roll his eyes and laugh).

    Maybe stress is causing you to feel out of sorts..? A professional massage/aromatherapy is good for mind/body/soul…

    Congrats on the Final 7 !!

  • Reply allison May 16, 2006 at 5:27 am

    The pancakes have GOT to help with the panic thing. I mean…pancakes!

  • Reply Léonie May 16, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    Hey, sorry you’re feeling like that. It’s really great that Paul gave you a bit of space when you asked for it, and that it had the effect that it did.

    Sounds like work is really tough at the moment. Hope things start to feel better, I wish I could offer some help!

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