One letter, Two baby groups, Three Buses

February 10, 2010

So, after I wrote my post about the writing of letters I decided that I would write to my Mum weekly. In return she has decided to become my life coach from afar. I am slightly dubious about this, and think perhaps she has just found a way of telling me what to do even though I am grown up and have a child of my own. Still, it is nice to know that she cares.

So, last week I received this little gem in the post. In her words here are her pearls of wisdom:

1) Always rinse your swimming costumes in cold water after swimming and they will last longer (chlorine rots & makes them loose colour).

2) Go to Library (NOT AMAZON) and try to read (time permitting I know)
     a. The Kite Runner
     b. A Thousand Splendid Suns

So, I dutifully rinsed my costumes after Little Dippers last week and I have cheated slightly and got these books added to the reading list for the Judith’s Room virtual book club so I will read them eventually.

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I was on the bus reading the letter on my way to baby group. It is a postnatal group that deals with baby safety, weaning etc. Last week was weaning, and when I said that we were doing baby led weaning with Piran you would have thought that I had grown a second head or something. There were about 10 mums there and it didn’t even seem that anyone there had even heard of it. 
Those of you that follow on Twitter may have seen that this week I wasn’t very happy after I had been to this group. I made myself go along, no one had really spoken to me the week before, but I thought that now we had all been going for a couple of weeks that they might talk to me a bit. I came home feeling horrible. No one even tried to talk to me. If I tried to start a conversation they would answer my question but not ask me a question or continue the conversation. I tried smiling at people, that didn’t seem to work. The stupid group is at 12.30 which is Piran’s nap time so that messes everything up. At the end he was crying and no one was talking to me so I just left early. There is only one more week and my MIL is coming along to hear a talk from a paramedic so at least someone will talk to me. I had hoped that I would make some friends that I could meet for coffee or something but no luck.
I did talk to a nice lady this morning at Sing & Sign, which made me feel a little better. There are friends out there for me, I just need to find them. I do wish you lovely internet / twitter people were all local, that would be so much fun!
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When I went to the class last week I got the bus. It was the first time I had got the bus to Lewes with Piran, we usually drive but the class is at the top of town and there is very little parking and a big hill so the bus is quite convenient. We got there fine, and after the class I was feeling rubbish so I went and got a Chai Latte in Caffe Nero and then went to get the bus. I found the right stop at the bus station and waited. A girl sat on the bench threw up a few times so when the bus arrived I was very keen to get on.
We were the only pushchair on the bus which was good so I settled down and starting playing with Piran. I sent a tweet about the bus driver driving like a maniac. After a while I realised that the bus was going quite fast, which was unusual for the route. All of the windows were caked with salt and grit and dirt from the roads so I couldn’t really see out. Then I looked out of the windscreen and realised we were still on the main road. We hadn’t turned off! We were on the wrong bus!
Oh bugger.
I sat there, paralysed with panic. My brain was running through the options, I had no idea what to do. The problem is that we were headed to Uckfield on the A26. It is a fast road, with no pavements, and nowhere to go. So in the end I stayed on teh bus until it reached the next village. I got off and checked when the next bus back was – 45 minutes. I had only worn my raincoat as it had been quite warm when I left. It was cold and raining. Piran was fine all tucked up in his pram, but he would be hungry soon. Luckily I had some money so I went to the pub (thank god it was open) got a drink, gave Piran his bottle (which I had packed just in case – phew!) then went back out and waited for the bus. It arrived, 10 minutes late, and I went back intop Lewes, got off, waited for the next bus and when it turned up my FIL was on it so I made up a story about walking through town to get the bus, no way was I going to tell him the truth! I finally made it home, nearly two hours late. I was freezing and fed up. Piran was fine, fed and warm and slept for a lot of the time anyway.
Mr C spent the night calling me “Three Buses” and taking the mickey. At least he promised not to tell anyone else and we have our 24 hour rule for piss taking (the piss taker is only allowed to take the piss for a maximum of 24 hours. After that the incident can never be bought up again) so by the next evening everything was well again.
I managed to get the bus there and back fine this week!

9 Comments

  • Reply SnafflesMummy February 10, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Ha Ha Ha I am sorry and know I should not laugh but I am so glad that I am not the only one incapable of catching the bus!

    In my “bus” days I regularly found myself in my own little world until I eventually realised that I was several stops past my intended stop.

    Thanks god I no longer use public transport!

  • Reply Erin February 10, 2010 at 11:43 pm

    I've done the bus thing too!

    Just wanted to comment that your new layout is lovely! =)

  • Reply Coding Mamma (Tasha) February 11, 2010 at 12:13 am

    We got on the wrong bus, going to the London Zoo meetup and ended up being an hour late. Actually, it was the right bus, but going in the opposite direction.

    I found baby groups awful when Rosemary was a baby. So much easier now, because I can talk about Rosemary. Plus I actually know some people already with babies the same age.

    I had exactly the same experience with the BLW at a postnatal group. The health visitors giving the talks, were advising starting weaning at 4 monhts, against the guidelines and laughing about second children being weaned on chocolate buttons, because their sibliings would feed them to them. Arggh!

    I got on better when Rosemary was a bit older – when she was toddling, pretty much. And had a bunch of mums, who I could happily talk to. But never got their numbers and did the coffee thing.

    Have you read my How do I make a date with a mum? post? It's something that resonates with a lot of mums, it seems.

    I love your weekly letter writing and your mum's life-coaching. Sounds wonderful. Don't think I have anyone who would do that for me, but handwritten letters are such a treasure.

  • Reply Mags February 11, 2010 at 6:07 am

    Loved your post! I've done the wrong bus thing before as well (and wrong tube) – horrible when it happens but sounds like you handled it really well and at least Piran was non the wiser..
    I mentioned that I was planning on doing BLW to the HV yesterday and got the same reaction as you. She told me under no circumstances should I start with anything other than baby rice – I just couldn't be bothered getting into a battle over it with her so said fine.. HV can be so condescending.
    It's definitely hard making new friends with other mums – I'm not being v successful at it either – I'm sure if we keep trying out groups though there's got to be some friendly people out there to meet for coffee.

  • Reply littledude's mummy February 11, 2010 at 8:55 am

    Oh I would so have been there on the wrong bus with you.
    I am *rubbish* at buses.
    They fill me with dread.
    So much so, I haven't even taken Dylan on a bus yet.
    Trains might not be super reliable, but at least they tell you where they're going, and all the stops are labeled!

    You got home safely though, without having to phone to be rescued, so I call it a win!

  • Reply Ang February 11, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Oh no. If that had been me, I wouldn't have had any more money, no bottle and my phone would have been out of battery. Glad you made it home safetly.

  • Reply cartside February 11, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    I once caught a number 11 instead of a 44. I hate those illuminated numbers, they really just blur in my eyes. Of course it was an early evening with hailstones and no idea where the bus was heading. And suddenly, out of the ordinary, you're so out of control. Horrible feeling.

  • Reply Victoria February 12, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    I once fell asleep on a train from wales to somewhere the morning after a party. I was supposed to be changing trains so I could be met at an obscure station by someone I didn't really know. Hmmm. Glad you got home safe and sound.

  • Reply mutteringsfromthemoor February 14, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    I just wanted to say that I know how hard it can be to make friends at these groups. When I had my first daughter I was in a new town where I knew nobody and I forced myself to go to NCT house groups. I met some lovely people and got more involved with the NCT because of it. Then I moved 200 miles away while pregnant with my second. I went along to an NCT event and found it awful, everyone knew everyone, except me. I then moved again and forced myself to go the village toddler group. Same story. It's so soul destroying, and incredibly hard if you are the tiniest bit shy. Then I took a gamble, the mums who ran the toddler group were leaving, so I offered to take over. It worked wonders really, i had to talk to everyone while making their teas and coffees and it improved my confidence no end. but I have found that the best way I've made friends recently is in the playground once the kids were at school. I now have a handful fo really lovely friends, the first close friends I've had since college. It takes time, but hang on in there!

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