The one where the nice boyfriend turns into a bit of a tosser.

April 25, 2006

No, not really, he is still the really lovely man that I have spent a lot of my time with. But suddenly he turns into a complete wanker. Why? How? You may ask. Football. That would be my reply. Bloody football.

Don’t get me wrong. I like football. I like watching it on the sidelines of a Saturday match between local teams. I particually like it, pint in hand in the pub, shouting “ohhhh” and “ahhh” when someone gets near the goal and yes I do know the offside rule.

But bloody hell if you could hear the language and cursing coming from my usually nice, romantic, soppy man I swear to god you would think that I had shacked up with the devil himself.

“Get up you tart” – that just came from the front room. That is quite tame actually. Might make a nun blush but not a lot else.

What is it about men and football? It turns lovely, prime speciemins of the species into swearing evil fuckers. My lovely man who is usually sweetness and light starts calling people Pouffs and all sorts of nasty things. The stupid thing (from my point of view and I would never under any circumstances tell him this) is the fact that his team isn’t even playing – he just wants one of them that is playing to lose because they….

” all of a sudden he is up and running like he has never been hurt – a couple minute ago he looked like he had been shot with a double barrelled shotgun”

…..are below his team in the Premiership and if they lose and his team wins then this team will not get into Europe. Which is all good I guess but I can get into Europe with my passport so I am guessing they can too. Okay, that was silly, but come on?

“Come on you lazy fuckers, stop diving like girls and start playing”

Adz, if you haven’t got it yet, he is a Tottenham supporter and is currently cheering on Villa Real (sp? How would I know I am not a football crazed lunatic) because he want Arsenal to loose because Arsen Venga (I know that is not how you spell it but it is how I say it) said that Tottenham are big fat cheats after Saturday’s game. *Sigh* with all this shit I will go grey prematurely.

“Shut up you faggot – get on with it”

I must admit I am not an easy girl to please at the moment. I might be slightly hormonal. I might have had over reacted slightly to the fact that he waited until I went to the toilet earlier and then stole a tortilla from the kitchen while I was making him a lovely dinner. As I said I am hormonal and prome to being a bit unreasonable.

“You cheating bunch of arseholes”

Oh so now he wants to use the internet because

“The cheating bunch of arseholes are going to qualify and I don’t want to watch”

Which I would be okay with except he has just informed me at 9.30pm he is

“Going to bed now”

So much for a nice night in together. I will now stay up watching shit TV to make a point.

Woo hoo watch the cracks start to show.

God, I am so fucking hormonal it is silly. I hate being a girl. Serves me right, I stopped taking my magic pills. I will be fine tomorrow I am sure :o)

4 Comments

  • Reply Anne April 26, 2006 at 1:46 am

    I know you are probably mad..but that was a very funny post..

    And whoo-hoo to magic pills..everyone should have some form of happy pills..

  • Reply Léonie April 26, 2006 at 9:45 am

    That was a funny post… I hope you feel better today. Get some more happy pills, perhaps? Or just some Skittles?

  • Reply soulmining April 26, 2006 at 9:20 pm

    I have to admit, I cracked a smile too… oh how familiar those shouts at the TV screen are when us blokes are watching football. Sad but true.
    Hope you’re feeling better today!

  • Reply Adrian May 9, 2006 at 7:49 am

    Sorry, I know you weren’t trying to be, but that is the funniest write up of the guy/girl/sport thing I have ever read.

    I chuckled the whole way through.

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