I am starting to realise that every month something happens to upset the proverbial apple cart and I go back to thinking that I will never get a hang of this mum lark.
So I am not that surprised as we are reaching the six month old mark (next week – where did that go?) things feel all up in the air and wrong again.
We have started weaning, the baby led way which is lucky because he screams if I so much as put a spoon anywhere near his face. It is going ok. He puts things in his mouth which is a step in the right direction! But that is about it and I guess that this part is hard because he is not yet really eating. He has not worked out that he needs to swallow! I know that this all takes time, but I am finding it hard to get the enthusiasm up to put together food that just ends up squished and mushed and thrown on the floor. I am persevering though, as practice makes perfect right!
His first tooth has just broken through the gum and since that happened this weekend he has taken to screaming a lot. Not crying, and it is not constant but it is loud and hard to manage when out and about – I swear it sounds like I am poking him with a big bloody stick. My head hurts so much and I am so frustrated. He will not let me hold him or cuddle him and I just want to make him feel better. Feel so helpless.
We had two wonderful weeks where he dropped his dream feed and slept from 6pm to 7am but now he seems to want food at night again – sometimes at midnight, sometimes at 4am. To be honest it changes every night. We considered going back to the dream feed but I hated waking him to feed him, and some nights he will go through without it. So for now I am doing it on demand at night which is okay, but Mr C has trouble getting back to sleep afterwards and then I get angry at him (irrationally I know) so I will be doing it, and he will have to give me some lie ins at the weekend!
So, all in all everything feels up in the air, mixed up and wrong and I hate this stupid feeling. It is the reason for my bad mood, my lack of motivation to look after myself, to exercise, to eat well.
Oh I am annoying myself so I will stop now. Please, anyone that has been here any advice / words of support / suggestions for how to cope with this all would be gratefully received right now.
Someone has woken from his nap, fingers crossed for a better mood.