A pint glass full of wee

November 8, 2010

I wrote this post on the day I found out I was pregnant, Sunday 22nd August. A couple weeks before Huggies had kindly invited me to the Little Bundle of Laughs comedy event in London which was great fun. They asked us back then to share our funny pregnancy stories and I have been holding out until I could come clean about the new baby. If you are in need of a laugh please check out their You Tube Channel where there are clips of the night – all the comedians were great but I thought Kerry Godliman was particularly funny. If you feel like sharing an amusing story I would love to hear them!

I think I am pregnant. My period was due yesterday but has not appeared, and there have been a couple of familiar signs. But I’m only a day late so trying not to get my hopes up. But while I was at Waitrose this morning I picked up a couple of pregnancy tests just in case. Of course being Waitrose they only had the all singing all dancing variety which cost a fortune, but nowhere else was open on a Sunday.

It’s lunchtime and we are due round the inlaws for dinner in an hour but Mr C suggests I do the test now, to put my mind at rest. The pressure of peeing on a stick is too much so I go to find a suitable receptacle. All I can find is a plastic pint glass. A little excessive perhaps, but it will do. I’m keeing an eye on Piran but plonk myself on the loo with the door open, hands between my legs holding the plastic glass in place and start to wee. Wow, that’s a lot of wee. Suddenly I realise Piran is advancing towards me. I try to fend him off by attempting to wave a leg in his was but all that does is make me pee on my hand. Great. Oh god, he has reached the toilet and is now putting his hand between my leg trying to steal what I am holding. I’m hollering for Mr C and trying to clamp my knees together to stop him. Not my finest moment.

Finally Mr C has grabbed Piran and I am done. After a quick peruse of the instructions I’m away. Dip for 20 seconds, put the cap on, result in three minutes. Strange, the cheap one I used when we found out I was pregnant last time only took one minute. Whatever, I rest it on the top of the bannister and go into Piran’s room to put some stuff away. Mr C looks at the test and says something. I come out, look at the test, read the word Pregnant and say the word “FUCK”. It’s good to know I’m consistent, I’m 2 for 2 on inappropriate swear words on finding out I’m having a baby.

Turns out you get the result in a minute, it is just the how many weeks that takes three. This is all too much for Mr C who is convinced that it is wrong, that the word Pregnant comes up at the beginning, then the word Not if it is negative. Can you imagine? There would be some confused people out there who thought they were pregnant, went off and celebrated and didn’t see the Not! He made me do the second test, and prove to him that the screen was blank first. I think it was wishful thinking on his part!

Anyway, much happiness and hugging and panicked ‘What the bloody hell have we done’ came next. Another baby in early May next year. Totally mind-blowing.

Then we have to forget all about it and go be normal at Mr C’s parents. I have double helpings of pudding, no more diet for me! We get home later and realise that in all the excitement we left half a pint of urine on the windowsill in the bathroom. Two kids is going to be chaos!

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