The separate people living under my skin

February 28, 2010

My name is Kelly and I am a hard worker. I have high standards for myself and I strive to live up to them every day. If I don’t get it right then it really bothers me. There are no excuses, no reasons why something cannot be done correctly. I will always be on time, I will always be properly turned out. I will be prepared for every situation and I will do everything perfectly. I want your praise, I want you to be surprised and pleased at how well I have done something. I want recognition for a job well done. I do not suffer fools gladly, I have no time for people who do not care about the task at hand. I want to be the best.

My name is Kelly and I am a artist. I want to spend my time writing and making and planning. I surround myself by pretty things that make me happy. I want to day dream. I want to walk and walk. I love taking pictures, writing in cafes, people watching. I want to buy beautiful things and fill my house with them. I want to be inspired. I want to forget about day to day things and just create. I want to let my imagination run wild.

My name is Kelly and I am a mum. I have a beautiful baby boy who I love more than I ever thought possible. I am constantly amazed by his smile and his laugh. My heart feels like it will burst every time he looks at me with love and trust in his eyes. I want to cuddle all day long. I want to teach him, I want to watch him grow. I want to look after him and keep him safe. I want to teach him manners and values. I want to be proud of him. I want to be the best mother in the world. I understand that it is not easy, and that some days I will fail. I hope that he will never hold that against me.

My name is Kelly and I am tired. I am cold and fed up. I am twisted and sad. I want you to go away, I want you to shut up. You cannot understand my pain and I don’t want you to. Who are you to offer advice? I cry. There is a lump in my chest and it will not go away. I am scared. I am agoraphobic, claustrophobic, xenophobic. I am angry. I rage inside. I am swept away by the sadness and injustice in this world. I want to crawl under the duvet and never come out.

My name is Kelly and I am a wife. I love my husband so much and I am grateful every day that I met him and that things worked out for us. I want to be with him all the time. I want to be close to him. I want to provide for him and look after him. I want him to be proud of me. I love being in a relationship like ours, full of understanding, trust, love and respect. I want to scream sometimes when he does things to annoy me. I want to make him laugh, I want him to cheer me up when I am sad. I want to be with him forever, I want to grow old with him and watch our children grow up. I gave my heart to him and I am looking after his.

My name is Kelly and I am an introvert. I like to be alone. I like to read, to think, to worry in silence. I don’t want to talk about it. I want to think about it. I want to spend time with myself. I want quiet. I don’t like telephone calls, text messages are my lifeline. I don’t want to go out in the evening, I prefer a film or a book. I don’t like crowds, I don’t really like most people. I don’t make friends. I make a terrible first impression. I am shy. I want to potter without interruption. My own company is the best I know.

My name is Kelly and I am funny. I like to mess about. I love a belly laugh, I find my own giggles infectious. I love being with my oldest friends and laughing until my sides split and I cry silent tears of joy. I love to do my impression of Dory speaking Whale. I do comedy tap dancing when friends need cheering up. I love to dance, wherever I am. I love to do silly dances to make Mr C laugh. I dressed up as a ladybird when 41 weeks pregnant to cheer myself up. I love humour and language. I love the relationships that I have with certain people that means that I can rip the piss out of them with no fear of misunderstanding or upset. I am quick witted and sharp. I can’t wait to share laughter with my own children.

Who are you?

25 Comments

  • Reply Hayley February 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Thats a really powerful post! Its great!

  • Reply TheMadHouse February 28, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    I love this post, it shows the facets of you and is really brilliantly done. I am glad to know you

  • Reply Heather February 28, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    What a brilliant post! It is amazing how many different people we can be, each with their own personality almost!

  • Reply Potential Mummy B February 28, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    I love this post. Very clever. And it makes me laugh (and feel hopeful for myself) that someone else loves to impersonate Dorry speaking Whale!

  • Reply Very Bored in Catalunya February 28, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Brilliant post, I am probably a lot like you, I think my company is the best as well.

  • Reply MuddynoSugar February 28, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Wow..striking

  • Reply Vicky Morley February 28, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    I LOVE it -it made me want to cry, totally simple and honest. It's amazing how similar people really are on the inside.

  • Reply Livi February 28, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Wow! I think that pretty much covers my thoughts on this incredible post.

  • Reply PhotoPuddle February 28, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    A very honest post. I bet it felt good to share. I think we could all write a post like that about ourselves.

  • Reply Lorraine February 28, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Really great post Kelly, really brilliantly written.

  • Reply Josie February 28, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    Kelly this is a FABULOUS post. Actually, I think this is my favourite of yours yet. Absolutely beautifully written.

    I'd love to use it as a Workshop post if you don't mind?

    P.S. Are you me? Seriously? Cause I think we might be twins or something 😉 xx

  • Reply cartside February 28, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    what a fab post! It made me smile because I recognised so much of myself in it, all the contradictions that I'm sure all of us carry with us.

  • Reply Liz (LivingwithKids) February 28, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Really beautifully written Kelly – amazing post.

  • Reply Cate P March 1, 2010 at 1:19 am

    Gosh, what a great post and what a great way to get to know many sides of one person. We all have them, thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Reply A Modern Mother March 1, 2010 at 8:23 am

    FAB post! I'm lots of different people too and discover new things about myself everyday (like I can cook Chinese food!)

  • Reply Victoria March 1, 2010 at 8:59 am

    What a beautiful post, you've described being human so well. Like the others who've commented, I feel like you are describing me, maybe that says something about people use use Twitter as their social medium of choice!

  • Reply The Moiderer March 1, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    It's posts like this that are the reason why I like to read blogs. Thanx for sharing so openly – well written.

  • Reply teamvaughan March 1, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    Beautiful.

  • Reply Lucia March 1, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Amazing post

  • Reply Crystal Jigsaw March 1, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    A beautiful, yet somewhat bittersweet post. I read myself in there too.

    CJ xx

  • Reply Susie March 2, 2010 at 9:48 am

    Beautiful post. I think that I like Kelly the artist the best because that is the one where you are being most true to yourself-you did not mention in the paragraph even once about needing someone else's love or approval.

  • Reply SnafflesMummy March 3, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    such a lovely post. Sounds like a very well rounded existance.

    Great idea for a post.

  • Reply houndini March 6, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Great post!

    We are all so many things.

    I'm normally very gobby but inside this gobby confident person is someone really shy and unconfident. Not many people know the real me.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply Vicky July 6, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    I heard you read this post at Cybermummy and love it! It is spot on and well written and put into words ideas that I haven't been able to.

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