Small breakdown, no biggie.

August 10, 2005

Okay it is not all that bad but I did feel a little like poor old Fry here at times in the past few days.

For anyone that has been past and had a look at my blog in the past few days I apologise for the completely insane post that I left on Sunday night. I have removed it now and deleted it, I never want to see it again. I had a very vague memory of writing it and I was tooo scared to check it until now. And yes it made me feel sick and scared and really wondering about my sanity just as I thought it would.

But I am ok I think. I now know that empty stomachs, alcohol, recent breakups, notes from ex’s and blogging DO NOT MIX. You have been warned. Is there some kind of breathaliser that I can attach to my ibook so if I am so much over the limit it won’t switch on? No? Hmmmm maybe I should invent that. I’d buy it. Oh and the same for mobile phones. I should so not be allowed to have a phone when I am drunk.

So I am just trying to keep focused on the pluses at the moment. I am still alive. I have all my limbs and am in general good health. I have some amazing friends who love me very much and look after me when I am going off the rails. I am skintus maximus so cannot afford anymore drinking binges at the moment. My boss didn’t completely freak at me over taking Monday off work when I explained what had happened (well the acceptable version of the truth). Work is going really well. I’m back in touch with a very good old friend, albeith probably very briefly. The sun is shining.

I am not quite right though. This break up with Jon has done a right number on me and I really thought that I wouldn’t be in this situation. Neither did he and he is getting all funny with me saying that I should be fine and I have no right to be heartbroken and all of that and I am just falling apart because I loved him and we have spent the whole of this year so far together and now he is gone and I am empty. There is so much tied up in all this and I can’t make head nor tail of it.

Well all I can do now is go get me some grub cos I am starving!

1 Comment

  • Reply Léonie August 10, 2005 at 5:01 pm

    Hello! Thanks for coming over to my blog – I read the whole of yours (yeah, work not so stimulating).
    I hope you are ok.. you seem really cool from what I have read.
    I’m going to keep reading..

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