Sunshine and Showers

August 29, 2006
Sunshine and showers. That is the weather today. Also, how I feel. One minute I am fine and the next I am grumpy. Actually I was like this all weekend. Think it is combination of things really. I am worrying too much again.
I have an appointment tomorrow with a plastic surgeon to have a small operation to remove a cyst which I have had for over a year and a half. This is making me nervous for two reasons. Firstly the bloody thing has disappeared so I don’t know if I am wasting their time and if they can still do something about the root of the problem I am worried that it will hurt. I am such a baby about these things.
Also we find out who got promotion later this week and I don’t know if I want it or not. I think I feel like I don’t want it because I am scared that I won’t be able to do it. On the other hand if I don’t get it I am worried that I will be really disappointed. God it is so silly, I wish we just knew. One more person has an interview tomorrow and I guess they will let us know fairly soon after that.
Blogger was a pain in the bottom this weekend. I kept trying to leave comments and post more myself but it wouldn’t work. Very frustrating.
I feel bad because Paul did loads around the house this weekend and I was trying to help but I have a bad back at the moment so I was really struggling. It put me in a bad mood though. Poor guy, I end up taking it out on him and he is so lovely and sweet about it all. Sometimes I just wish I was a nicer person with a better handle on her behaviour.
It is true that a problem shared is a problem halved though. I mope around feeling crap and then Paul manages to get out of me what I am grumping about and I do feel better. I find it very hard to stay in a bad mood with him around. He has a great way of making me laugh or smile or at the very least relax a little. He doesn’t deserve it in the slightest when I get annoyed at him. I do make a conscious effort to apologise if I snap at him or if I take something out on him that is nothing to do with him.
Great. Blogger is not working now either. Will send this by email and hope for the best!


  • Reply running42k August 30, 2006 at 1:02 pm

    The blah feeling make sense. When I am feeling less then 100% physically it affects my mood tremendously.

  • Reply Tim-tambolini August 30, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    It’s funny how the way you feel sometimes seems to be the same as me…right down to the worry, snappiness, and feeling badly for the man in our lives that has to put up with us. I’ve resolved now, and you should too, that Paul (in my case, Eric) accept us for who we are and when we are ‘good’ we must be really good for them to put up with us when we are ‘bad’.

    As for the cycst, again, I know how you feel. I had one on my shoulder for 8 years before I finally allowed my doctor to remove it. I was such a baby about the whole thing. Even after they froze the area I was so worked up about the needle they just gave me that I wouldn’t allow the doctor to cut my skin. They had to give me a relaxant to disolve under my tongue, but I don’t think it helped much. I finally let the doctor do his work, but cursed a bit at him when he tugged too hard on the root of the thing. But, it’s gone now and I don’t look like I have an eyeball stuck under the skin on my shoulder…LOL.

    And the promotion…if you get it you can feel good that you were the one chosen. If you don’t want it, you can turn it down. I’m sure, though, that if you take it that you will do a great job!

  • Reply Kuntry Konfession August 30, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    looks like i’m not the only one feeling off too….good to know there’s another grouch on board. (heheheh!)
    and yes, this weekend blog to comment was being a pain in the ass…..

  • Reply STAG August 30, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    Just passin’ thru.

    Tim Tambolini…so THATS where my eyeball got to! I want it back!

    Have a good week guys! Mine has been a right bugger! But…things WILL get better. I have learned to project good things to make me feel better. You know, emoting, imagining. Like right now, I am imagining I am on a beach, make that a sandy beach, with a waterfall right behind me. A small one, splish splashing into a pool. I am standing in that pool, (see how that works?!!) Standing in a pool up to my knees. Watching the bubbles break on the surface. The ripples in the water, little fish nibbling at my toes. Watching the twit from receiving struggle for breath as I stand on his face. Yeah…..all better now….

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