The light at the end of the tunnel

October 11, 2012

It is only October but this year has been a very, very long one. I can honestly say that it has been the hardest of my life so far and we are only two thirds of the way through. However, today I received a telephone call from my wonderful Mr C which has cheered me up and made me feel lighter and happier.

We finally have the dates that he will be away for the rest of the year and the great news is that the end is nigh for all of this traveling. We are not out of the woods yet but he will be away next week, then home for three weeks and after that just has two more weeks away which are split up by a week at home. All that this really means is that between times he is away I will have time to recover and rest before he leaves again. At the moment he gets home on Friday, it is usually Sunday before I am sufficiently with it to string a sentence together again and then I wake up in the morning and he is gone. It is worse as the end of the year approaches, I go to bed by myself in a bloody cold bed each night, I’m the only one that can get up when a child needs me and it is freezing and then I climb back into bed and there is no one to snuggle up to for warmth. I tell you, I thought that when I got married the deal was that I would have a human hot water bottle for life. I miss chatting to him, being a solo mum during the week is so exhausting and if he manages to call I am usually too tired to chat. Sometimes things happen that we don’t even manage to tell each other about. That is so strange for us.

Mr C and I were inseparable from the moment we became a couple, and it always seems odd to me that as we got married and had children bit by bit we have seen less and less of each other, not more and more! We used to work together then we had children, I had maternity leave, then went part time, then more maternity leave and then I had to give up work. I still miss him during the day, seeing each other here and there and knowing there was always someone there looking out for you. Now he is gone all week and I miss him so much. And not just because there is no one to play ‘I changed the last stinky nappy, it’s your turn’ with or make me a cup of tea.

He will be home tomorrow night and I am looking forward to seeing him even more than usual. We are not ready to break out the Dom Perignon yet, but I definitely think that we should raise a glass of something and toast that light at the end of the tunnel.

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