Firstly…I wrote that post on Monday emptying my brain onto the page about the fact that my blog had been discovered by a colleague of mine. I knew that most of it had come out wrong and when I went back and read it I couldn’t believe the mess I had made of what I was trying to say. But that is how I blog. Open brain, pour onto page, sort out.
The person concerned sent me an email yesterday saying that he had read the post, was sorry if he had invaded my personal space and that he wouldn’t read the blog anymore. As soon as I read it I knew that this was not what I actually wanted as an outcome. I guess I had just hoped that he would read the post, and leave me a comment saying that I could trust him not to talk about anything that he reads on my blog with anyone that doesn’t read my blog. So I told him that and he has promised to be the model of discretion. So you heard it here folks. It is in black and white. Shining Wit keeps his mouth shut or I will set all my bloggy friends on him. Go and check out his blog though – I promise you he is even more sarcastic in real life!
So I am back. 100% Kelly. You have been warned.
Lèonie got her prize for winning the Shit Self Portrait Competition. Find out what she got here.
I haven’t mentioned Paul a lot in the past couple of weeks. That is not because he has disappeared (far from it) just that it was the main thing I was worried about blogging about while I had issues with who was reading my blog. So Shining Wit’s discretion will be tested at this point because he knows him and they have a number of friends in common and I am about to be sad and girlie about the whole thing which I would never do in real life so THIS IS SECRET.
So I went to Paul’s for dinner last night (nothing new here) and he said that he had a surprise for me. He took me to the pub, bought me a drink then asked me to give him my car keys. (Please note here this is not because I have a tendency to have a few drinks and get into my car and drive. I am a responsible adult I have you know).
I was confused but I was between him and the door and I do trust him so I handed over the keys. Which he proceeded to add two new ones to. Keys. To his flat. My own set. Shiny, new keys.
The thing is I haven’t spent a night alone for a week and a half. I haven’t spent a night at my flat for over a week. I have clothes hanging in the wardrobe, shampoo and toothbrush in the bathroom. But the reality of it was that I just went there when he was there and the fact I had those things there was just convenient.
Now I can come and go as I like. When I go out with my friends he wants me to go back to his flat instead of going to mine even though he runs the risk of me turning up a bit squiffy and being slightly annoying and loud. He tells me that that would make him happy. It sure as hell makes me happy.
It is exactly 8 weeks today since we went for that first drink at lunchtime. When I was so nervous and freaking out that we would have nothing to say to each other. I am so happy that I was so, so, so wrong. We have everything to talk about. We have so much in common but so much to share with each other too. We are making plans for next week, next month, six months time and instead of scaring me like I was sure that it would it fills me with happiness. There is nothing scary about this relationship.
I have had two serious relationships before this one and I have been known to comment (usually whilst pissed) that if I could take bits of the first and bits of the second and put them together then I would have the sort of guy I could spend a lot of time with.
I know it is early days. I am scared to write this in case I jinx it. But I’ve met that elusive man. At the point when I was so happy just being me, by myself and getting on with life and work I turn around and he has been there for the past two years, so close but just far enough away that I didn’t really notice.
I’m sorry if you are all vomiting at the downright toffe apple, candyfloss and full fat coke sickness of this post. I just needed to get it out. Promise to be back to the crazy tomorrow x