Paul is back later. I am very excited but it is making the evening go really slowly. I have to pick him up from Brighton at 9.25pm and I am just trying to waste the time until I can leave.
So am I tiding the house, lovingly making him food, ironing a shirt for him for work tomorrow like some kind of domestic godess?
Ha ha ha. Even if I wanted to be like that I never could because I am just not that sort of girl. I have just tried to make the kitchen respectable and this is what happened.
Ran water to fill up washing up bowl.
Realised I used it all last night having a HUGE bubble bath that came almost to the top of the bath with water when I got in it. Bliss but no hot water today as I haven’t switched it back on.
Turn on hot water.
Look in fridge as I am passing.
Accidentally eat after dinner mint.
Accidentally eat another one.
Realise that there is loads in the fridge that needs throwing out.
Chuck stuff onto side and then into bin.
Realise too late that the bin bag has slipped down.
Try to pull it up without making too much of a mess and flip loads of rubbish between the inside of the bin and the liner.
Swear in my usual manner “Cunting Bollocking Arse Fucks” (you may think this is a little strong for such a small issue but I like to think if I do a job it should be done properly)
Pull liner out and get rubbish from bottom of bin.
Tie up bin liner and go outside.
Remember back door is locked and put front door on latch. Ha, I am not that stupid!
Put rubbish in bin in outside cubby thing.
Oh, spider. Why is it running round in circles? Stand and contemplate for a while.
Shut door, turn around, see cat.
Talk to cat.
Shit! Cat has gone in the house because I left the door open so I didn’t get locked out.
Cute cat though. Might just go and get the camera. Good blog-fodder.
Get camera, scare the bejesus out of the cat with it’s rapid flash action.
Watch cat as it inspects every room.
Oh crap it is under the bed in the spare room.
Try to scare it out with more flash action.
Um…think that made it worse.
Sit at the top of the stairs quietly until cat comes out.
Time to get cat to leave.
Shut all doors upstairs and leave front door open.
Hmm, cat seems happy just to sit at top of stairs.
Phone Paul to ask if he knows where the lead to connect the camera to the laptop is as I want to take the picture of the cat off and post it on my blog.
What cat? Umm.
Confess that although the cat seems nice I am too scared to pick it up incase it turns psyco and tries to scratch my eyes out.
Leave Paul in peace on coach and have another go.
Shut lounge door too. Now the only place the cat can go is out.
Go into the kitchen and notice plant that was bought for me as a present this weekend is still on top of microwave. Pick it up to water and notice that the flowers have been munched and there are weird black round dropping things all over it.
Crap i have killed it already!
Decide I don’t like the loook of it. Open back door and place outside.
Check on cat situation.
Finally coerce it out by pretending to go out myself and then diving back into the house and slaming the door.
Can’t find lead for camera so cat picture will have to wait.
Sign onto the internet anyway.
Go back in kitchen.
I’d left the back door open.