Waiting

April 29, 2011

Well, after thinking that I have been pregnant forever I am still surprised that this weekend is here. The baby is due. Now, after last time I know that a whoever decided to call it a due date was a bloody annoying idiot because let’s be honest chances are you will still be pregnant the day after (or in my case last time, 14 days after!)

I feel different this time. I am resigned to a wait. I am happy to wait a little longer. I know that by the middle of May at the latest she will be here and we will move on to the next stage of our life. I am trying to stay serene and calm as I think that will help her come in her own time.

I did think however that when I did this for a second time I would know what was happening. Last time every twinge I had kept me awake at night. I would google ‘what does a contraction feel like’.

I still don’t know. Because of the induction last time where I didn’t have a contraction until I was put on a Syntocinon drip and then everything kicked off hard and fast, I don’t know what to expect at the beginning. I wish I did, it would make this even easier.

Tales of quick labours second time round scare me, mostly because we didn’t do the trip to the hospital thing last time. I know it worries Mr C. We live 30 minutes from the hospital and I can’t imagine what it will be like being in a car, in pain while he drives. Poor man, I don’t think I would want to do it.

The thought of another induction is not really an attractive one, but it has its pros and cons. We would already be at the hospital to start with, so that scary journey would not be a problem. Last time it took three and a half days to start my labour and I don’t want to be in hospital and away from Piran that much this time. Mr C couldn’t stay with me like he did last time as Piran would need one of us around. What if it all happened quickly and he didn’t get there in time?

Because of Piran’s size last time (10lb 2oz) they have made me an appointment to discuss options / early induction when I am 5 days overdue, a week today. I don’t know how I feel about it, what I want. I turned down a sweep yesterday. I was sore and achy and couldn’t face walking back to the car after having that done to me. Last time it just hurt and all they said was that my cervix was tightly closed and up in the gods. I didn’t want to hear that this time. I would rather not know, it is less pressure.

I have reached the point where I am unable to mention that I ache or hurt or had a twinge because we then get a call a couple hours later to see if it has turned into anything. If people would just back off, not ask and leave us alone this end bit would be easier I think. I don’t feel that I can call my mum just to chat because she will get excited that something is happening.

Oh I know that the best thing that I can do is put all of this out of my mind and just enjoy the last few days as a family of three. Mr C is now off work for an entire month, Piran is fun and engaging and just brilliant to be around and we should do our best to enjoy him while we have the time and energy. Mind you, he refused to sleep anywhere than in our bed last night, so I ended up in the spare room. Charming!

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