Why all dentists are actually evil.

September 2, 2005

I went to the dentist this morning. I really hate the dentist. Like HATE the dentist. I am so shit scared and woke up at 5am in a right state so by the time 8am rolled round I was VERY jumpy and all quakey in my boots. Got there, sat in waiting room and out comes Mr Dentist. He knows that I am freaky scaredy cat so he is all nice and ‘don’t worry’. I am shaking more than I would have been stood naked at the North Pole and have the ‘bunny caught in the headlights’ look about me so it is pretty obvious I am not happy.

But then it was actually ok. It was as pleasant as any trip to the dentist is ever going to be. I haven’t been that happy in a dentist (oops I mean in a dentists surgery! That could have so been taken the wrong way!) since the days I went and they gave me a sticker for being good. He gave me an injection without me feeling the needle even once. Discomfort was at a minimum and they even had the tv on.

But my semi happiness could not last for long. Oh no. After my 45 minute appointment I went to the receptionist and was charged £67 pounds for the pleasure of being up since 5am scared shitless, and having two people simultaneously poke around in my mouth (I have severe personal space issues) for the last 45 minutes and it costs me that much??? For one bloody filling!!! THAT IS THE EQUIVALENT OF LIKE £1.50 PER MINUTE. Is it gold? Nope.

So now I no longer have a hole in my tooth but I do have a gaping hole in my bank account which means I should become a hermit for the rest of the weekend as there is no way I can afford to go out.

Am I? No bloody way. I need to get plastered to get over the shock. Work night out this evening. There will be free alcohol (for a bit) and I am going to drink as much as I can.

I’ve stopped worrying about the dentist though as I have a plan. I am going to marry him as he is nice and he didn’t hurt me and is a magician with his needle so his injections don’t hurt.

Then I am doing to divorce him and take the rich bastard for everything he has got because he must be LOADED.

However YAY Friday.

3 Comments

  • Reply Doug September 2, 2005 at 5:50 pm

    The Dentist is my biggest fear. If I could manage to never go to the dentist again, it wouldn’t be enough. I can’t even stand the smell of the dentist office. I’m getting sick just thinking about it.

  • Reply monkey typist September 4, 2005 at 12:09 am

    i still get stickers…

  • Reply Léonie September 5, 2005 at 10:43 am

    What is wrong with my brain? When I read that your dentist is “a magician with his needle so his injections don’t hurt”, I giggled.
    Oh God.
    I think you should marry your dentist. I feel very similar about going to the doctor’s. I will avoid it at ALL costs.

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