I always thought myself a fairly capable person before I became a mum. I could hang a picture, change a plug, decorate a room, make dinner for more than 10 people when required and was really organised and good at my job.
I seriously had NO IDEA. Because since becoming a mum I have developed some amazing super skills that I know for sure I share with all other primary carers of young children. Yes Mr C is an amazing dad but the fact of the matter is that I am here day in day out and I have finely tuned some pretty superior talents.
I thought I would share some examples.
Super hearing: Not only can I hear when my children are doing something I don’t want them to do I can also hear and understand the absence of sound – and we all know that is when something is really afoot. I can also tell you exactly what part of the film a 2 second clip comes from in a number of films without seeing the screen. Finding Nemo and Tangled are my specialist subjects.
Super stamina: I have had two children in under 4 years, I have not slept properly for any significant length in that time. I can get through the day on a few hours sleep with just tea and biscuits for fuel.
Super napping: I can fall asleep within moments of sitting down. I can time my power naps to last either one episode of Dinosaur Train, or Team Umizoomi or if I am lucky a child’s nap.
Super ignoring: Not only can I block out a double tantrum the whole way home from town in the car I can skillfully reverse park outside the house without being distracted by screaming children.
Super strength: Piran is a couple of weeks away from 4 and therefore now weighs a ton. If I have to though I can lift him up and deposit him where he needs to be – whether that is when he is upset and needs a cuddle or driving me insane and getting separated from everyone else.
Super calm: I can finish cooking, mash the potatoes, dish up dinner, lay the table, read and reply to a text from Mr C, change a nappy and referee a sibling fight in five minutes without breaking a sweat.*
Super negotiation: Getting a 3 year old and a 2 year old dressed, fed and out the door by 7.45am takes a fair amount of negotiation. Don’t get me started on bedtime. I am expecting a call from the FBI soon. I am sure they could use my skills.
Telepathy: I can read their minds and I can know what they are thinking and what they are going to do before they even know.
Super organisation: Making sure that everyone is where they are meant to be when they are meant to be with everything that they need is hardcore. I will admit that this can slip at times. Usually I just forget to pack anything food or drink like for me, today I forget the nappies.
Stomach of steel: Stomach bugs and poo. Need I say more?
Super reflexes: On hearing a child’s cry I am capable of being up and out of bed and into their bedroom before I have even woken up.
Super endurance: I can answer the same question many times over without losing my temper. I can also answer the question “Why” until my ears bleed.
Super distraction: “Look. Squirrel!” Works every time.
Super hugs: Nothing comes close to a mummy cuddle. I also have magic kisses.